A New Nickname for the Burrito

Low and behold, Augustus has his first tooth and no, he won't let you go anywhere near his mouth. It's his way of saying "I have something fun and you can't see it".

Because of the strangeness and unfamilarity that goes along with one's first tooth, he seems to open and close his mouth again and again like he wants whatever is implanted in his gums to just fall out and leave him alone. Hence the moniker of Baby Zoltar was born. You might be scratching your head wondering what this scary Hindu god-like statue is. Why, my friends, it's ZOLTAR from the movie Big. Remember, when Tom Hanks makes a wish to be "big" and plops the quarter into the big Zoltar Machine. Then Zoltar starts opening and closing his mouth all the meanwhile where scary lung noises omit from the machines box.

Gus is kinda like that, and it's cute.

Happy 7 Months Augustus

Every month the kid takes a picture with the bear on the chair. This first picture is so cute, I can't stand it.

I have a lot of pictures of Augustus looking annoyed or with his eyes closed. He's a funny little man.

Here is one last picture of him at one month old, to show you how much he's grown. Look at those skinny legs!

Mommy loves you very, very much!

Take Note! 4 Places to Never Take my kid

1. Carnivals. Might as well piss away the money. Unless you drag the whole Zaucha family up to make fun of people and grab a funnel cake on the way home, then that's okay.

2. Chuck E. Cheese. My parents never would have taken me on my own, I said they were mean but really they were doing so for my own good. Chuck E. Cheese is evil and dirty.

Somehow I managed to get invited to a birthday party there when I was about 7. Turns out Chuck E Cheese prompted my intense fear of puppets that still shakes me to the core. Remember that awful demonic puppet show? No one warned me as I sat munching on their famous cardboard pizza that the ugly woodland creatures would come to life and start jerking around like the undead with their mouths flapping while really horrible pre-recorded kid music filled the air. I about laid some serious brown in my Day-of-the-week Undies that day.

3. Waterparks. Indoor or Outdoor. I don't discriminate, neither does Legionnaires' disease.

4. Build-A-Bear. If I have to explain why, I'll have to kill you.

The tradition continues

From the Zaucha Family to Yours, we wish you a very
"Happy Rotisserie Thursday"!

Are sled dogs street legal?

Yet another glorious commute into work today. Roads were a nice slice of hell again. Got here a half hour late, which means I have to sacrifice one half hour of my only free time during the day to make this up.

I sat in my car thinking about other modes of transportation that would probably get me to work faster. I had to eliminate some of the unfeasible, like camel riding and para-sailing, but mushing would work! And the sled is perfect size to strap the Graco carrier in for the burrito! Now I just need to find some Siberian Husky's.....

It was nice watching the burrito nap in the backseat. Of course he's tired, he decided that last night would be FUN! to wake up at 3:30am and not go back to sleep. I'm tired, cranky, and now I want to pat a Husky.

Moons Over My Hammy

I heard on the radio this morning, that yet another chain restaurant is giving away free food today.

::Thinks back to Papa Johns nightmare this summer::

I like when the word "free!" is mentioned all sorts of freeloaders and bottombarrels come out of the woodwork and are willing to stand in line (possibly for hours) just to get something that costs about $5. This always makes me laugh. I bet people could get a better meal with a minimal waiting time and for $5 less if they went to a homeless shelter. Shhhh, but just don't tell them that...


And who the hell eats at Denny's sober anyways?

Thank god, no more crime scene in the diaper!

Let me get this out in the open... I don't mind changing diapers. Never had, but what has changed in the last month has been the ease of the whole transaction. Once solids foods were introduced, my life has become a lot easier. Once was a liquid is now a solid. Tomato soup has magically turned into Yorkshire Terrior like pellets. Nice. Easy. Smooth Sailing.

What I don't miss is infant poop. The yellow/green/brown crime scene spatter that got everywhere and the 8 wipes used to ensure proper clean-up of all the areas, including thighs, and stomach (sometimes) was always a real drag to realize once the diaper was opened and the prize revealed.

I can't tell you how many white onsies have been ruined before solid foods were introduced. I would come and pick up Gus at the Day Care, always wondering if his change of clothes would be on, and the soiled layers of clothing would be placed in a Giant Eagle bag. Most of the time the stain was so old and caked in I just would throw away the onsie. Yes, I'm a wasteful American. But you tell me, would you like to get out the OxyBaby and work on a smelly stain that's 8 hours old when you come home from working 8 hours? I think not. Plus, I only stole about 8 pairs of latex gloves from the doctor's office and have long since used them up.

Ever wonder why hand-me downs are never white onsies? I'm a firm believer that there are more soiled white onsies in the landfill than diapers.

I'm fine with this stage. Gus, keep eating stage one and two foods for awahile. I am liking not seeing specific foods for now in the diaper. Thanks kiddo!