Armed with a nasal aspirator and a bottle of saline

When I was a kid I remember my sister Colleen saying to me "What's grosser than gross"....then it was followed by a one of two senarios I had to pick from:

1. Having a midget come up to you and telling you that your hair smells nice (hahahahaha)

or

2. Picking someone else's nose. (ewwwww)

Well, I've had the occassional dog come up and do a little sniffing down there, and I always laugh, and think that dogs might be the only domesticated species (besides Italian men) that don't give a shit where their hands/paws/noses linger, and if it happens to land on your crotch then they just play dumb, take their slap like a man, then head off to see if someone else gets offended.

I've never had a midget do that, and if he did come up to me and do that, I would tell him that he was a a naughty midget and then befriend him immediately, because I love saucy people.

Okay, so that's not gross. Now onto picking another human beings nose. If it were a full grown adult I would have to say "no" unless the full grown adult was my husband and he was crippled or maybe if he was holding Gus and was bending over a pot of chili he was cooking for our dinner, then maybe I would do that just to avoid snot going into my meal.

But, call me crazy, but man, is it fun picking a babies nose. They have small noses, they can't pick it themselves, and you really feel a sense of accomplishment by making them not only feel better but look better too. Isnt' that the job of a good mommy?

In fact, I have 3 aspirators at home, ready to be used at the drop of a hat.

He's so cute, I can't stand it

Ever feel like someone is watching you...someone little with big muffin cheeks?

Raspberries aren't just a fruit

Augustus loves to blow Razzies. So much so that his entire area under his chin is red and chapped from all the spit and drool byproduct that razzies generate. I try to keep his face moisturized as much as possible, but it's a losing battle. Poor Burrito! I ducked into Day Care this afternoon to give him his bottle and he was in his walker. I leaned down to say hello and he stuck his tongue out and started blowing right in my face. He's cute, I'll let him get away with it.

A New Nickname for the Burrito

Low and behold, Augustus has his first tooth and no, he won't let you go anywhere near his mouth. It's his way of saying "I have something fun and you can't see it".

Because of the strangeness and unfamilarity that goes along with one's first tooth, he seems to open and close his mouth again and again like he wants whatever is implanted in his gums to just fall out and leave him alone. Hence the moniker of Baby Zoltar was born. You might be scratching your head wondering what this scary Hindu god-like statue is. Why, my friends, it's ZOLTAR from the movie Big. Remember, when Tom Hanks makes a wish to be "big" and plops the quarter into the big Zoltar Machine. Then Zoltar starts opening and closing his mouth all the meanwhile where scary lung noises omit from the machines box.

Gus is kinda like that, and it's cute.

Happy 7 Months Augustus

Every month the kid takes a picture with the bear on the chair. This first picture is so cute, I can't stand it.

I have a lot of pictures of Augustus looking annoyed or with his eyes closed. He's a funny little man.

Here is one last picture of him at one month old, to show you how much he's grown. Look at those skinny legs!

Mommy loves you very, very much!

Take Note! 4 Places to Never Take my kid

1. Carnivals. Might as well piss away the money. Unless you drag the whole Zaucha family up to make fun of people and grab a funnel cake on the way home, then that's okay.

2. Chuck E. Cheese. My parents never would have taken me on my own, I said they were mean but really they were doing so for my own good. Chuck E. Cheese is evil and dirty.

Somehow I managed to get invited to a birthday party there when I was about 7. Turns out Chuck E Cheese prompted my intense fear of puppets that still shakes me to the core. Remember that awful demonic puppet show? No one warned me as I sat munching on their famous cardboard pizza that the ugly woodland creatures would come to life and start jerking around like the undead with their mouths flapping while really horrible pre-recorded kid music filled the air. I about laid some serious brown in my Day-of-the-week Undies that day.

3. Waterparks. Indoor or Outdoor. I don't discriminate, neither does Legionnaires' disease.

4. Build-A-Bear. If I have to explain why, I'll have to kill you.

The tradition continues

From the Zaucha Family to Yours, we wish you a very
"Happy Rotisserie Thursday"!